4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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