Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
