His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
