you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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