Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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