I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize