Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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