It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
