Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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