Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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