I just saw a hot homeless man
Where is the hickey?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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