you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
