summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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