I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
