is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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