Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need water and some morals
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
