I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
