Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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