Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Who died my cat blue again?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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