It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
