she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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