you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
