So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
