i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
