Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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