What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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