Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
