I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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