I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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