fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
