been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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