When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
