That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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