I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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