What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
50% drunk capacity currently
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
