I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
