Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
