You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
