32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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