garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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