How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
