She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
