I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
