Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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