A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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