im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
