Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
