uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
