I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize