we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The adults are the big ones right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
