ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
