Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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