i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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