I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
