i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
