I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
