so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize