How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
