So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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